22 Jun Multiple Miscarriages + Unexplained Fertility
(Special thanks to our guest blog contributor and local Raleigh mom, Louise K., for sharing her story.)
My friends used to call me Fertile Myrtle: our first child was conceived in the 2nd month of trying, and our second child was conceived on the 1st try. I was the youngest of my friends to start a family, so it’s understandable that, to them, I looked like a real Fertility Pro.
The real deal? Hardly. Trying to Conceive (TTC) is never that easy & predictable.
You see, since the birth of my second child, these same newly married friends had been busy announcing and celebrating their own fresh bundles of joy while I quietly struggled through years of unexplained infertility and 2 miscarriages.
Through it all, my regular OB/Gyn and a new Reproductive Endocrinologist were my allies to discuss possible causes, treatments, suggestions (…voodoo?) and how I could possibly be struggling with multiple miscarriages and infertility after two effortless pregnancies and healthy deliveries just a few years before.
My OB and RE were both patient and kind, reassured me, empathized with my bipolar emotions, but didn’t make any guarantees. They simply promised to would do every bit of research possible to identify my husband’s and/or my possible issues.
The results? Unexplained infertility. The treatment? Let’s try a mix of hormone and vitamin supplements and, “Louise, just go home and try to relax”.
A few months later (and still not much relaxation), it worked! Our 3rd child was born less than a year after that proactive visit to the doctor (and 4 years after his next-older sibling). We were in heaven.
The next 6 years were filled with ups and downs that would have made even the strongest person break. Still wanting a large family, but still struggling with an inability to get pregnant (and inexplicably miscarrying 6 more times when we did manage to conceive), I finally threw in the towel.
After a couple months of donating baby toys, infant essentials and adorable baby clothing … (of course) we became pregnant. I cautiously hoped and pretended to coast along, “c’est la vie” … but at age 37, with 8 previous miscarriages, understandably, I was silently worried.
This time, the first trimester sailed by … then the second … and the third! Nine months later, our 4th child was born, healthy and beautiful and so wanted.
Today? We’re still unable to relax. (Does any parent of 4 children have time to relax?) But the blessed chaos all around us reminds us that sometimes the best advice really is to let go and leave the medical plans to your women’s health team.
Advice I’d give to others? If you feel alone, you’re not. If you feel like you need to spare your friends the “drama” of your emotions, don’t. If you feel like there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation, there is. Take initiative, take action, and pick up the phone. Find your own caring team of OB/GYNS/Midwives to take on your fertility challenges as they’d take on their own, and work through every available resource to help your dreams come true. These realized dreams may not look like the “life plan” you started out with, but I promise, they will be every bit as sweet.
If you’re struggling with an unexplained inability to get pregnant or carry a baby to term, please contact the caring team at TP4W + Midwifery. Their qualifications, experience, dedication, empathy and diligence is the perfect combination for your maternity “Dream Team”, and they’ll embrace your hopes with the resolve of a true partner in your health.