01 Aug Bonding through Birth & Beyond
There’s just something about pregnancy and birth stories that makes any two women instant comrades (or perhaps momrades is the better term), no matter how long they’ve known each other – 2 minutes or 2 decades. It’s a life experience that knows no TMI, spares no details, and openly explains the single most enlightening moment in a woman’s life with few words. We just “get it.”
Those bonds of Pregnancy, Labor & Delivery apply to any mother – adoptive, biological, grandparent – as we relive our “when I first laid eyes on you” moments with each other. The dramatic crescendo of those 9 months, questioning the bizarre physical goings-on, trusting the autopilot of our uterus… it’s like a jack-in-the-box of excitement that we can all relate to, no matter how our journey to motherhood plays out. In the end, we can look around and know that every mother shares that same unifying emotion when we think back to the moment our children were placed in our arms.
The last 2 trimesters are often filled with busy, joyful Gender Reveal Parties, Baby Showers, and Babymoons, but perhaps the most treasured moments of support and bonding with our mom-friends occur after the euphoria wanes. Relish those quiet moments when your girlfriend stops by with a cheese-laden comfort casserole (or bottle of wine) when you can soak up the surge of happy endorphins, just knowing she “gets it” and you’re not alone. You don’t need to complain because she already knows the crazy mix of exhaustion, adrenaline, hormones, and physical love this little human being has stirred in you. Rely on the unspoken support and personal connections she offers, simply by being there.
Psychology Today recently released an article citing the importance of support systems for new moms, and how important it is for women to remain connected and understanding with each other, long after the exhilaration of the delivery is over. The stress of doing something “wrong,” or “not good enough” might be clouding your decisions all day long, but lean on your mom-friends to squash those doubts and reassure you of your successes, even the tiny ones. Embrace that external source of energy (that you didn’t even know you had access to) as a crucial boost to your mental well-being.
You Can Do This
Your self-esteem and confidence as a mother are always going to be challenged (welcome to parenthood!), but on your low days, lean on the support of your friends and family to lessen those typical worries. Hopefully just knowing that you’ve got someone to talk to or turn to for help during these exhausting moments bolsters your resolve. Resist the urge to withdraw until you “feel like yourself again,” as this just adds to the feeling of isolation.
At Triangle Midwives, our goal is to care for your physical and emotional needs, at any age & stage. Our staff of gentle, expert midwives can offer you plenty of tips to help navigate the years ahead. Call us for a consultation to discuss your physical and emotional questions, visit one of our Mommy & Me or Prenatal Yoga classes to meet some new “momrades,” or let us know what other ways we can support you as you maintain (or get back to) a healthy, happy you.